Wacky Story: Tomato Joe & the Ice Cream Man

Submitted by: The Bellwoar Gang

Once there was a kid named Tomato Joe. Everyone called him Tomato Joe because he threw tomatoes at anything he didn’t like. Even his mom and dad called him Tomato Joe because sometimes he threw tomatoes at them.

His dad told him that when the ice cream truck had its music playing, it meant it didn’t have any ice cream. The ice cream truck rode by Tomato Joe’s street every day. And every day, Tomato Joe threw tomatoes at it because he thought it was out of ice cream.

One day, the Ice Cream Man got tired of getting hit with tomatoes, so he didn’t turn on his music when he was driving down Tomato Joe’s street. He thought he could sneak by without be bombarded with squishy tomatoes.Tomato Joe saw the ice cream truck and didn’t hear the music so he thought it had ice cream. He ran after the ice cream truck waving his two dollars and screaming “I want some ice cream!” The Ice Cream Man saw Tomato Joe running towards him and sped up. No ice cream for Tomato Joe today.

Tomato Joe screamed, “Noooooooooooooooooooooo!” and fell to his knees.

Then, he plotted his revenge. He wasn’t just going to throw tomatoes at the Ice Cream Man. He was going to fill up balloons with rotten tomatoes and launch them at him.

“Hey, mom. Do we have any balloons?”

His mom said that they did. It was his dad’s birthday the next day and she just got a bunch.

“Wait, it’s dad’s birthday tomorrow?”

“Yep. He’ll be 30.”

“30???!! 30!!?? What!…Hey, dad. You’re soooo old. Do you want me to get you a walker for a present? How about some dentures? I can’t believe how old you are.”

“Watch it, Joe,” his mom said. “I’m 32.”

“32??!!! 32!!?? DAD!! You married an older woman! I can’t believe it. The shame. The shame. How can I show my face at school?”

“Do you want these balloons or not?”

“These balloons are light blue and say Happy Birthday! I can’t use these. I need balloons that say Revenge.”

“Well, then go get your own Revenge balloons,” his mom said and walked away.

Tomato Joe went to the store and asked the guy behind the counter if he had any balloons that said Revenge. The guy told him he had some black balloons that said Over the Hill. Tomato Joe thought these would be perfect balloons to fill with rotten tomatoes. That Ice Cream Man would be headed for the hills after he finished with him.

The next day, the Ice Cream Man didn’t play his music again as he turned onto Tomato Joe’s street. He crept up towards the house, hoping not to be seen. Tomato Joe was waiting behind a bush with 500 Over the Hill balloons filled with rotten tomatoes.

He saw the ice cream truck. He didn’t hear the music. He was filled with angst. No music meant there was ice cream. But he didn’t get any yesterday. What to do. What to do.

Just then his dad came outside. He saw the balloons.

“Over the Hill? Over the Hill?” He slipped and fell into the pile and got covered with rotten tomatoes. Tomato Joe took off running. His dad chased him, rotten tomatoes dripping off him. He looked like some sort of swamp monster.

The Ice Cream Man saw the two running towards him. He thought the dad was a monster chasing Tomato Joe. He started throwing ice cream bars at it to scare it away. The dad got hit a few times and ran to the back of the house.

Tomato Joe scooped up the ice cream bars and ran behind the bush.

The Ice Cream Man gave a nod, turned on his music, and headed home. He’d never be hit by tomatoes again.

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